On Borat

"God forbid, if it ever came down to it, I would kill someone, but I don't like these kinds of movies."
--the lawyer whom I work for while discussing the film Borat

This is not the first time he's told me that he would kill a man, given the right opportunity. You should know that there was not a tiny little hint of sarcasm in his voice. This is all too real.

Arm Strength

"I want to go back to the touchdown. Tom Brady sets up his protection. You think arm strength means nothing in the NFL? A blitz...Tom Brady throws a Roger Clemens fastball out there, and what that does, it cuts down the reaction time for the corner. So it goes unnoticed all the time in this league but when you have a strong arm it does create plays and that was one great example."
--Phil Simms, while broadcasting the Pats/Jets game today

Really? I always thought arm strength was one of the most valued traits in any quarterback. I always hear that college quarterbacks won't translate very well to the NFL because they lack the arm strength that's necessary in the superior league. I guess Simms assumes most people think arm strength means nothing in the NFL for quarterbacks. Hmm.

True Stories from the Office

(emerging from the bathroom)
BOSS: Ahhhhhhh! [think Herbal Essences adverts] I probably shouldn't make that sound coming out of the bathroom.
SECRETARY: Ha ha. What were you doing in there? You sound very relieved.
BOSS: (chuckles) I feel like the Senator's boyfriend. [realizing I can see her and hear her] That was a joke. [storms off]

Yes folks, this is what I must live with. If I was able to make these things up, I'd be writing sitcoms.

Dan Singing Karaoke

I believe this video is located somewhere along Priceless Avenue in Hilariousburg.

Styx--Come Sail Away

Video I took earlier tonight at the Styx/Foreigner/Def Leppard concert at Jones Beach. What an awesome song!

The battle between E.V. and evil.

Dan on the Phone

How long would Dan sit on the phone for while I taped him? Let's find out!